Here are all of heat’s Twitter Awards winners 2014 – as voted by YOU!

Any man who's happy to pose for heat in nothing but a Kim Kardashian-inspired white swimsuit with his arse FULLY out deserves to win the Best TV Personality award, in our eyes. We always picture him with a glass of white wine in hand while he tweets, too. This is the second heat Twitter Award Alan's won, having nabbed Funniest Tweeter last year, which begs the question: what the hell is Phillip Schofield doing with his time? Sort it out, Schofe.

Christ, heat's Twitter almost crashed the day we announced our cutest pet nominees, with David Walliams and Lara Stone quickly taking the lead with a sustained campaign that could teach our political leaders a thing or two. Bert looks just as comfortable dolled up next to his besuited owner on the red carpet as he does going for a sniff round the park. Good on you, Bert - always remember your roots, mate.

Whether she's wetting the bed for the fifth time in one night (likely) or ranting about feminism (less likely), Geordie Shore's Charl always makes us laugh till our abs hurt. She's basically a workout in 140 characters. Sure, there's plenty of selfies if you're into that, but she's just a funny, funny gal. One we'd very much like to take on a night out. HIT US UP, CROSBY.

The cynical amongst you might speculate that Harry Styles only won the vote because his army of teenage fans mobilised (and probably skipped some very vital school time) to vote en masse for their heart-throb: well, a bit, yes. But those very same cynics clearly have never read Hazza's Twitter feed: it's funny, random, and very, very rarely descends into label-prompted album shilling. Good work, kiddo.

With humour so dry you need a glug of milk after reading his tweets, posho Jack Whitehall makes us roffle with his observations on people who wear pyjamas to the cash point ("tools"), his dad (@Brucey's leaving Strictly? I think it's time for some younger blood. Step forward… Michael Whitehall!") and his love for Ben Fogle.

Linguistic pioneer, haircut trailblazer, jungle survivor: Joey Essex is many things to many people, and while he's being those many things, he's also very good at taking an opportune selfie. While visiting Africa he managed to bag one with a monkey, one with an elephant and, on his return to Britain, one with Ed actual Miliband. Long Reign The King.

Lovely Liam Payne is one of the sweetest members of One Direction there is, but occasionally (like when he's woken up by prank calls to his hotel room, or gets involved in a media to-do), he can go a bit 'grumpy bear'. The occasional Twitter rant or pining for his ex is just par for the course with Liam, much like selfies of him wearing caps or his constant talking about Spider-man. HE'S NOT THE BEST SUPERHERO, LIAM. HE'S NOT EVEN CLOSE.

UNDISPUTED CHAMP Nick Grimshaw has bagged our 'Most Random' award for the second year in a row, mainly because he's been in mad-as-a-box-of-frogs Twitter form for a good 24 months. As well as eeeeelllllooooonnnngggaaaaaattttteeeedddd reactions to his own Radio 1 show, Nick always seems to be eating (and reacting to) food, and when he's not doing that he's taking wacko selfies with his celeb mates. Grimshaw, we salute you.

Fourteen million votes. Fourteen. Million. That's how many hashtags were used by Armies, Navies and Beyhives around the world as they voted in the Biggest Fanbase category, and while bands such as 5SOS, Union J and some scamp called 'Justin Bieber' (anyone?) all had a go at trending in the UK, it was One Direction who came out on top, with seven million votes to their name (the closest competitor being Biebs, with four). Safe to say we are quite exhausted after counting all those.

Fan of gin, correct English and mildly grumpy reactions to Monday morning? Then you need to follow @Queen_UK, the parody account to end all other parody accounts. Despite the fact that we're still not convinced @Queen_UK isn't the actual Queen (we tried to get in touch with QE2, but had to go through a labyrinth of publicists - could it be the most meta parody of all time?), either way, we do sort of wish she were. Good work, ma'am.