We’re all aware of the magical properties of booze. The incredible transforming abilities it has to turn boring blokes from Accounts into the stud muffins of the office Christmas party. The way it brings people together and bonds them with the shared memories of them all puking out of a 4am Addy Lee simultaneously. Ah, alcohol. How great thou art. How great thou art.
So it was little wonder Kendra Wilkinson was so excited to get her hands on some beers during last night’s* I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!*. Sure, she had to scoff a bunch of eyeballs, deer penis and other gross stuff (“There’s a pubic hair in my throat RIGHT NOW”) to get her hands on it, but it was totally worth it – as illuminated by this happy little clip. Look at that face! She’s loving life.
I'm A Celebrity 2014: Gemma Collins most iconic statements
I'm A Celebrity 2014: Gemma Collins most iconic statements
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"People are going to see the real bare, stripped-back me. I might just become Bear Grylls, you never know."We never did get to see Gemma chowing down on a raw snake, drinking her own urine or sleeping inside a rancid camel (yep, Bear Grylls has seriously done all of those things).
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"Yeah alright, I've cracked at the first hurdle. It's like the turtle and the slug or the horse and the rabbit or something, I can't remember what it is."Who could forget the age-old story of the turtle and the slug?
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"If they don’t give us a treat I’m going to kill myself.”Well, the suicide threats didn’t work, but outside of the jungle is a plentiful world of treats just waiting for Gem.
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"I've never been in a shower which takes so much hard work but you've just got to roll with it, like Oasis said."
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"I feel like I’ve got malaria. My poo is bright fluorescent yellow, we’ve got to get out of here today.”Symptoms of malaria do not include yellow poo, constant whinging or an Essex accent, sorry Gem.
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"Seriously, I'd give anything for a bit of dried fruit. Dried fruit! I'm not even asking for a ham sandwich. You know what I mean? With a packet of Quavers on the side."We’re not sure dried fruit is the best remedy for fluorescent yellow diarrhea Gem, maybe just stick to dry bread and water until the ‘malaria’ clears up.
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"People that murder get treated better than this, and that's the truth. Even a murderer gets fed three times a day."Murderers also don’t get paid at least £25,000 to go on a jolly holiday to Australia either. They also tend not to have strops and quit their sentences, but who cares about the details….
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"If I'm not in that camp in three minutes, I'm quitting."That’s what the helicopter was for, Gem.