If you're like us and hooked on the trials (literally) and tribulations in this year's I'm A Celebrity....Get Me Out Of Here! camp, we've got everything you could possibly want to know about last night's episode. Whether you were tucked up in bed super early with your Horlicks or you saw it already and just want to remind yourself of the LOLs, here are all the deets...
A wee rant
Naughty Jake snuck off behind the bushes to do a wee, saying: "I was desperate. When a guy's got to go, he has to go. I wee in my garden and my mum wonders why all the plants are dead."
Remind us to never share a flat with you then, Mr Quickenden.
But uh-oh. Michael got out his laminate. Oh yes he did. The laminate stated that celebs should not urinate in the camp boundaries, as human urine attracts wildlife including snakes, so it's important that only the dunny is used for human waste.
Jake was quick to own up, washed his wee away with water and said sorry to everyone. Although Mel admitted if she had a willy she would probably have done the same. Mel and Jimmy then discussed weeing in the pool, which was rather lovely for us to hear. To be fair, we reckon a bit of Jake's wee is the least of their worries in that there camp...
Jungle Electra
So it turns out Melanie's not so much a fan of The X Factor, as she politely told Jake to shut up when he was singing a Michael Jackson medley with Jimmy: "You've got such a nice voice but sometimes it just gets on my nerves. Soz. I'm not being spiteful."
Jake went for a bit of a sulk in a quieter part of the camp (and maybe another secret wee, who knows?), but his singing partner in crime Jimmy, along with Foggy, followed him and asked what was wrong: "It's no biggie. I don't want to bitch about her."
Except it kind of is a biggie because I'm furious that I got voted off The X Factor and now I'm stuck her being told off for weeing in the outdoors when I could be in the hair and make-up chair eating chocolate digestives
In the Bush Telegraph Jake said: “I’m learning about things in here and people deal with things differently and you have to curb yourself to make other people feel at ease. I’m always singing at home, I’m always singing in here. Probably my singing is annoying because I didn’t last very long on The X Factor did I? I’m not singing anymore in this camp, I’ve been ridiculed today. Mel came at me, then Bullard, now Foggy.”
Yeah, we forgot to mention Foggy took the mick too...
Mel then tried to be friends, saying: "Jake, your Michael Jackson medley was getting on my tits, it was the pair of you so don’t be sensitive about your voice, it’s beautiful. It wasn't your voice this morning it was the singing in general, so don't take it badly because it will really upset me.”
Reporting straight to you from The Grudgeholder's mouth: “I’ve come in here with half a f***ing talent and I’m not even allowed to do it."
Yep, you read that right. He said half...
Starry starry night
Kendra got nominated for another Bushtucker Trial (shock horror). This one was called Little House On The Scary (we do love a good pun, props to you I'm A Celeb team), and neither she nor her fellow campmates had much faith in her bringing home the bacon (literally). Kendra said: "I'm coming off a really bad stretch. I've gone one star, two stars, one star. I'm hoping for three today. It's pretty sad, but that's huge in my eyes. I don't think the camp has much confidence in me to get the stars. I don't even have much confidence in me." And then poor Kenny tripped over the bridge as she went to embark on the trial with A&D.
Aww. It's enough to kind of make us feel sorry for her. But not quite as we still can't get the Hugh Hefner image out of our minds.
Kendra encountered cockroaches, green ants (the bitey ones), mealworms and crickets in the house, not to mention being suspended in mid air, but SHE DID IT! SHE WON ALL TEN STARS!
She decided, however, to pretend to her fellow campmates that she hadn't got any stars, y'know just for LOLs. Meanwhile, back at the camp, Foggy promised to run around naked if she got more than five or six (yeah, we're still waiting for that Foggy).
They responded something like this: "Oh don't worry but be warned the public are probably going to pick you again WE ARE SO HUNGRY WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A COLLECTIVE DECISION TO EAT YOU INSTEAD."
But they didn't eat Kendra. Not today anyway. The dinner bag landed in the camp a bit later on and the camp was filled with turkey, vegetables, surprise and general delight.
THIS MEANS WAR!
So next, the celebs learnt that the camp would be divided into two rival tribes, the girls being the Galahs and the blokes being the Wombats. The tribes will be competing in daily challenges, and then they get to pinch a member of the opposing tribe if they win the challenge. Very Shipwrecked, non? Whichever tribe has the most members in a few days' time will win immunity from the first public vote to send someone home. We have a feeling Kendra may well decide to lose instead...
But for yesterday, the treat of the day was chocolate brownies and ice-cream. YUMMMMMMM!
Pole-ar opposites
The first task was all about endurance, with both the Wombats and the Galahs choosing two warriors. Kendra and Mel represented the laydeez, and Tinchy and Jake took one for the lads' team (yes, Tinchy). Each celeb had to hold two poles to stop creepy crawlies from pouring over their heads. Now there's an incentive if ever we saw one.
It turns out Jake REALLLLLY wanted ice-cream: “We’re just going to get inside Kendra’s head. That may sound harsh but I’ve not wanted brownies and ice cream more in my whole life.”
He managed to get in her head (we're not quite sure how), as Kendra dropped her pole. Tinchy was next but escaped being slimed (we know, WTF?), which left a tie-breaker between Mel and Jake. Jake eventually won by the skin of his teeth after a whopping 1 hour and 12 minutes and a tiebreaker question. What we don't understand is why he didn't just start singing?
So the Wombats ate the brownies, and then poached Mel for their team. Yep, they poached her after they'd eaten them.
We're looking forward to Mel exacting her revenge in some special Sykesy way...