The 9 0'Clock News – Wed 16 Jul

Posted by heatworld on Wednesday 16 Jul 2008

Filed under: Amy Winehouse, Blake Fielder-Civil, Fern Britton, Kerry Katona, Russell Brand, Brush with the law, Rehab

Russell Brand in trouble after police prank call:
Comedian Russell Brand has been forced to apologise this morning after making a prank call to police during one of his stand-up shows. The huge-haired funnyman borrowed a phone from a member of the audience and called a local sex attacker hotline, which had been set up following a number of incidents involving "The Underpass Attacker". Russell told the operator he had seen a suspicious man wearing polka-dot trousers and a pink day-glo cap lurking in an underpass. He giggled down the phone, "I had someone come near my local underpass. He was dressed atrociously. He looked like Timmy Mallett." Russell then went on to tell the operator his name was Sarah, and even began singing down the phone to her until she hung up. Although Russ meant no harm with the prank, a spokeswoman for Leicester Rape Crisis was unimpressed, saying, "I don't think it's amusing. It's in very poor taste." Russell was quick to apologise, stating, "I am devastated by the possibility I may have offended vulnerable people."

Amy heading to rehab at comedian’s home
The latest snippet in the ongoing saga of Amy Winehouse is that she may be heading back into rehab – at the former home of comedian Frankie Howerd. The large pink-painted country mansion is for sale, but its owner is now considering turning it into a intimate retreat where people can get over their problems. Amy's concerned mum Janis expressed an interest in the retreat after hearing how the place helped a pal of Frankie Howerd's overcome his addictions. The pal said, "Janis and I were put in touch by a mutual friend and she said she wanted to come and bring Amy as it might help her." Meanwhile, friends of Amy's are worried that she is not facing up to the possibility that her husband Blakeincarcerated will not be freed from prison as soon as she thinks. The singer has been excitedly making preparations for his homecoming, but yesterday his legal team warned her that he could be facing a long spell behind bars. It was a harsh reality check. Amy, for GOD'S SAKE, please listen to your parents.

Kerry: "Rehab is like Butlins!"
Kerry Katona's been blabbing her big mouth off again – and this time, she's revealed that The Priory, famous rehab centre of the rich and famous, is just like...Butlins. Yes, Butlins the holiday camp. "It's like a holiday camp at The Priory, it's like going to Butlins at the weekend," says Kez. "It's a place to recharge your batteries." We're not sure how all those people battling with addiciton will feel about these new comments – we're sure they're all sat there in The Priory wearing their red coats and singing songs right this second...

Fern refused pay rise after gastric band incident
It's not been the best of times recently for Fern Britton, and today she's had more bad news – she won't get the pay rise she's been angling for. Fern was said to be after a 10 per cent pay rise but, in light of the controversy surrounding her gastric band (Fern didn't tell the public she'd had one fitted, and claimed her weight loss was due to exercise and healthy eating, just in case any of you have been hiding under a rock recently), she's had her salary frozen. However, when we found out that at £700,000, Fern is still one of the highest-paid ladies in TV, we have to say we don't exactly feel that sorry for her. *opens own pay packet. Starts to cry*