The 9 O'Clock News – Thu 2 Oct

Posted by heatworld on Thursday 02 Oct 2008

Filed under: Cheryl Cole, EastEnders, Rick Astley, Simon Cowell, The X Factor

Simon tells X Factor stars to sort out teeth;
Simon Cowell has demanded that all the X Factor finalists have their teeth whitened through laser treatment – just like he has done. The judge, who has frequently been teased for his blinding white teeth, has spent a huge amount of cash on getting his Hollywood smile, and now he’s sent all 12 acts to a posh clinic in Primrose Hill, London, to get theirs sorted. A source said, “Simon wants the acts to look their best once the live stages start. He is convinced they will all look better with perfectly white teeth as part of the makeover.” Wow, talent-spotter, now dental crusader. What will Si try his hand at next?

Cheryl’s bizarre phobia
It turns out that Cheryl Cole isn’t infallible after all – she’s got a phobia of cotton wool! Cheryl has revealed in the new Girls Aloud autobiography Dreams That Glitter that the white fluffy stuff really puts the willies up her. “I hate cotton wool,” she says. “I went to the dentist the other day and he put it in my mouth and I felt violated for the whole day. I never use it, not for taking make-up off or anything. Even when I get my nails done they use tissues. Just the feel of it… it squeaks. Urgh. I can’t bear it!” It turns out this phobia even has a name – bambakomallophobia. Which, for some reason, makes us want to sing the We Go Together song from Grease… a-wop-ba-ba lu-mop-a-wop-bam-boom!
 
Nasty Nick to return (not the Big Brother one!)
There’s nothing we like more than booing and hissing at our TV screens while our tummies are full of turkey, booze and chocolate, so we’re delighted that Nasty Nick Cotton is returning to Albert Square this Christmas – for, like, the zillionth time. EastEnders’ most long-running and notorious villain will be back to torment his old ma Dot after spending the last few years in prison. Actor John Altman, who last appeared in the show way back in 2001, is very excited to be returning. “After an absence of seven years, I am thrilled to return,” he says. “I’ve always been given great storylines and look forward to seeing if Nick will once again spread fear and loathing throughout the Square.” Booooooooooooooooooooooo, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss. Ooh, that felt good.

Rick Astley nominated for Best Act Ever. Yes, really…
When we heard the news that 80s singer Rick Astley has been nominated for Best Act Ever at next month’s MTV Europe Music Awards – we checked the calendar just to see if was 1st April again. But no, this is actually happening. It’s due to the "Rickrolling" internet phenomenon that happened earlier this year – a prank where people were tricked into clicking on a video of his cheesy 80s hit Never Gonna Give You Up. Fifteen million users watched the video, and it now seems to have relaunched Rick’s career. An MTV spokesman said, “MTV has been well and truly Rickrolled.” Blimey, whatever next? Timmy Mallett being nominated for a Lifetime Achievement Award at next year’s Brits?