Read Brian's BB blog
heatworld are very proud, excited and happy to introduce our very own Big Brother blogger for 2009 – Brian Belo! We can't think of anyone better to share their views on all things BB. After all, Brian has not only won the show before, but he's also quite possibly the most hardcore BB fan, like, EVER. Even more hardcore than heatworld, and that's pretty impressive. Oh, and he's utterly adorable and hilarious, which makes it even better. Over the next 13 weeks, Brian will be sharing his views, his predictions and all his insider knowledge exclusively with you lot – all in his own unique and brilliant style and all written by the man himself. Aren't you a lucky bunch? First off, Brian tells us his first impressions of the new BB bunch, and who he thinks will stay the distance...
Big “Buff” Brother
All I can say is Wow! My heart literally pumped out of my chest as the oh-so familiar theme tune kicked in and the shiny new graphics took residence on the little bundle of joy that we call the silver screen. Yes that’s it folks, the Daddy of all reality television shows – Big Brother catapulted its tenth, yes tenth season into the lives of every self respecting TV addict.
Each audition tape burst onto the screen like little nuggets of unadulterated fun. As each housemate sashayed and shimmied their way out of the limos whilst posing for the paparazzi like their lives depended on it – and momentarily they do, might I add! Davina grinned to camera as she put in the housemates or non-housemates. The whole thing twist thing is complicated to me at the moment, but I’m sure I will understand its relevance soon.
First cab off the ranks was Freddie – posh, deluded and eccentric; as barmy as a box of snapping turtles. My first impressions of Freddie were that he was irritating, but as the housemates numbers grew I started to like him far more. Hot off the heels of the Fredster was Lisa, Mohican in hand with her brash voice and opinionated views – the obligatory launch-night shock housemate, but that is just how we like it. Then charges in Sophie, with her huge bust and feisty personality in tow – one of my favourites, but then again I’m part of the red-blooded male variety, so it goes hand in hand. Already I’m sensing that we’re going to see plenty of Sophie over the next few months on the front cover of the lads' mags and certain tabloid newspapers, but doesn’t that add to why we love BB so much thinking that we’re watching a future pin-up in the making?
The weirdest thing for me about this launch was that I was at the Big Brother studios in Elstree, sat in a room of ex-housemates and journalists waiting to appear on Big Mouth. A journo from a certain tabloid got all excited when Sophie emerged down the catwalk, but can you blame him? This girl could be his bread and butter for I don’t know how many months. The numbers grew in our visual pleasure dome, Angel quite frankly scared the life out of me. I’m thinking personally that beneath all the madness lies a very drab character with nothing to bring by week 4. Cairon, our first Big Brother American rapper-a-like; opinionated, fiery and potential to cause a rucas in this house. I would like to see him turn out to be sweet and endearing, however, I fear that is not going to be the case.
Our elder sibling then decided he was going to give us a real-life character from X-Men. Big Brother, now you’re just spoiling us rotten! Yes, Marcus – I say his name as I chuckle at the thought of how long it must of took him to grow them eye-offensive mutton chops; seemed a cheery fellow and a strong contender to win this beast. Noirin was next to be metaphorically catapulted into the human jungle; sassy, vivacious and full of herself – Jessica Alba lookalike will annoy not only female viewers but female housemates. However, I predict she’ll be a great housemate. Her sexy accent that sounded like smooth honey running down a Barry White classic will more than properly cause arguments and start rivalries between the female inmates for the who’s the fittest bird competition, shallow as it may be – it happens every year doesn’t it?!?!
As I sat in the green room, the twins – yes, lovely Samanda – screeched with joy as Kris’ VT played on screen. The twinnys thought he was a hottie, but gathered his personality wasn’t any to be impressed by. I personally think his audition piece was nothing like how he’ll be in the house. Then we have delightful Sophia, they say good things come in small packages and that is definitely the case when it comes to our courageous Londoner – my early shout says if she can stay away from bitching and carry on making us smile without being annoying then this young lady could grace the final week. As could my other controversial favourite, Beinazir. Honestly, if someone wrote this woman into EastEnders, the public would say this character is far too over the top; but this is the reason why reality shows have been trouncing the soaps for the past decade. Beinazir is a cross between Shahbaz and Vicky Pollard; I predict she’ll be evicted by the week 8 curse that gets rid of all BB legends – Nikki, Luke, Victor!
Karly strolled through the door and got mascara batted daggers from most of the oestrogen inhabitants. The twins thought she looked chavvy, but aren’t Chavs the backbone of Big Brother?!?! Rodrigo, king of the Topman shirts and blue jeans combination seems like a nice fellow – I personally think he's the ickle boy from Ugly Betty! Since the credit crunch, maybe the wages in Hollywood have fallen that low that he thinks appearing in a gameshow for a hundred grand could be the new way forward.
The pirate man was good for shock value, but again how good that is weeks down the line I do not know. Saffia the beauty queen mother looks like another one to take part in the he said, she said arguments, but that is part and parcel of why we love the show. Whilst Sree, might have bitten off more than he could chew with this house. I think Big Bro should give them all a chance, cos’ I hate wasted potentially good housemates kicked out to early, but I’m sure we’ll find out sooner rather than later what his going to do with the swinging 16. I, myself am bouncing up and down with delight at thought of these bright and exuberant characters living inside that magical box in my living room. This summer I’ve got 16 new best friends to shout at, love, laugh with, evict and crown one of them little blighters winner of my favourite national institution. Sends shivers of adrenalin filled excitement down my spine!
Charlie, the man with the stand-out audition tape and medal for having the quickest entramce. When he entered the compound by picking up dear Sophia, made me think his a nice guy and him and her would make a very cool Brian/Narinder duo. I think he's another final weeker!
Brian xx
Read Brian's BB blog!