It’s finally happened! Big Brother has started again and as we type those schlebs are already comparing their superstar status with each other.
- First in was Kerry Katona, who wore a bin bag ravaged by wolves and hair inspired by Jedward and R-Pattz – fair play, we like both of them. Her first words were of course “Bloody Hell!”
- This was followed by American Pie actress Tara Reid who practically ignored Brian, stumbled up and then down the steps and then started calling Kerry “Kerrah”. Cue us snorting with laughter. Tara was clearly very spaced out and overwhelmed by the whole thing. Hmmm… overwhelmed. Yes, we’d better stick to that. Our fave moment came when she turned to “Kerrah” and said “I know nothing about this”. Amazing, priceless tv.
- Next up was Paddy Doherty, from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and is a bare knuckle fighter. Oh and his accent is very difficult to understand. Watching Kerry’s blank face as she tried to figure it out was very entertaining. Very Alan Partridge.
- Amy Childs came next, looking glam as usual. Although strangely she sounds like Jordan. Tara kept banging on about the door not opening for her, Amy eviled her but then was distracted by Kerry as they’re mates already.
- Darren Lyons, showbiz pap arrived next looking a bit like our Dad in drag, in an embarrassing gold suit with a pink star shaved into his head. He immediately started schmoozing the moment he got in. He knows Amy but it took Kerry a while to work out who he was.
- The first eye candy appeared next. Hello Lucien Laviscount! Amy totally eyed him up. We have first hand knowledge and know this boy is a bit of a player. We see a romance on the cards!
- Pamela Bach Hasslehoff arrived after. The ex of David Hasslehoff, walked straight into Brian, told the crowd she wanted to hug them and then told Darren, he’s “too cute” and that he looks like her dog. We detect a crazy one!
- JEDWARD ARRIVE! Wearing a tiger print jacket and Panda trainers which is proabably a bit tame for them. The twosome cartwheeled in and immediately set on all the housemates at once. Big Brother are going to have trouble with them talking over other people. Paddy definitely had an unhappy sneer on his face. Tara looked like she’d realised she was shut in a madhouse.
And that was your lot until BB launched their first task on unsuspecting Kerry. She’s got to act like the biggest diva and throw a full-on tantrum TONIGHT. We felt a bit sorry for her but bring on the strop! Also, we have to mention Brian Dowling who put in a sterling performance for his first show.
We. Can’t. Wait. For. Tomorrow!