McLaren quits I'm A Celeb ALREADY!
The kangaroo bum hasn’t even hit the plate yet, but already it seems that the jungle life is all too much for one celebrity. Former Sex Pistols manager Malcolm McLaren decided yesterday that he wanted out of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here just hours before it was due to start. The 61-year-old claimed he would run riot among the other stars, boasting, “I am utterly irresponsible, completely childish and probably everything this production team and society hate.” Despite this early confidence, Malcolm did admit he’d never seen the show before. Perhaps promises from the show creators that the Trials are going to be the worst yet *rubs hands together with glee* put him off? We’ll be bringing you all the gossip from the jungle throughout the day; let’s just hope no one else bottles it.

Blake transferred to prison medical unit
Reports reached us this morning that Blake Fielder-Civil has been moved to a prison medical unit amid fears for his health. Amy Winehouse’s distraught husband, who was refused bail over a charge of perverting the course of justice, cried non-stop for 24 hours after being remanded into custody on Saturday. A friend of the star said, “Yes, he is crying non-stop, but he’s crying for Amy. He’s more concerned about her than his own safety.” A source at the prison admitted, “He is in the [medical] unit for his own safety. We want to keep an eye on him.” Amy herself is said to be furious that she has not yet been permitted to visit her troubled lover, ranting, “It’s ridiculous. Blake needs to see me and I want to see him.” We dread to think how she’ll react if Blake is sent behind bars indefinitely…

Britney breaks the law. AGAIN
Britney Spears is in trouble again...The dippy singer was caught on camera driving through a red light, while on her mobile, with her two sons asleep in the back of the car! Britney, who was with her court-appointed child monitor at the time, was snapped committing the crime while the monitor ducked to avoid being pictured by paparazzi. The incident came just hours after Kevin Federline asked the court to ban her from driving the boys over alleged missed drug tests.

Penny shuns her leaving party
Penny Lancaster was in tears last night – after being booted off Strictly Come Dancing. Rod Stewart's missus went head to head with Matt Di Angelo, but the judges failed to save her, instead choosing her rival. Penny was slated for her performance of a fast-paced salsa with dance partner Ian Waite. Penny was so upset she even shunned the aftershow party – fleeing the studio immediately. A show source said, "Penny was really crying backstage. She didn't stay goodbye, she just wanted to go home. Ian went to the bar to be consoled but Penny just shunned the party."