Get ready for a rumble in the jungle:
So, this year's brave – or slightly foolish, depending on how much you hate creepy crawlies – celebs who will be heading into the jungle this weekend have been announced, and the show's producers are promising that this year will see more fireworks in camp than ever before. The ten contestants lining up to munch bums for our entertainment this year are reported to be the most "combustible" mix yet, with several big personalities, including most obviously chat-show host Robert Kilroy-Silk and TV personality Esther Ranzen. Our David Gest of the series looks likely to be Star Trek actor George Takei, who recently married his male partner and is currently in the midst of a feud with his former co-star William Shatner. The pair fell out after George failed to invite William to his wedding, and the latter has since said about his Star Trek pal, "It's so patently obvious that there is a psychosis there ... I pity him." Blimey! Add to that the fact that most, if not all, of the celebrities have a self-confessed fear of insects, snakes, heights and caves, and you're looking at guaranteed hilarity. Ex-Blue member Simon Webbe has even listed his phobias as "everything"... Could we have another Dean Gaffney on our hands? Please, please, PLEASE say we do. What do you think of the final line-up?

Amy’s tearful (and a little bit cute) reunion
Has Amy’s new curly do er, gone to her head? Now, we’ve grown used to the Winehouse’s bizarre Blake-based outbursts/random slaps/string-vest wearing, but to see a softer side of Amy is actually quite refreshing. Despite claims things between her and Blakenottechnicallyincarcerated are not good, after Blake neglected to tell her he was getting released from jail, Amy insists her marriage is still very much "on" – and she’s looking forward to having a tearful reunion with her man. She says, “We’ll probably sit on the couch and look at each other and cry when he gets back. We’re very soppy. It will be very overwhelming.” We can’t help but feel a little emotional too…
 
Madonna wants to direct and get away from the UK
Madonna’s got a lot of things up her sleeve, it would seem – including escaping the UK and getting a few more brownie points on her CV. Thanks to her impending divorce from estranged hubby Guy Ritchie, Madge is going to a) move back to the US and b) become a fully fledged film director – according to her brother Christopher Ciccone. He says, “I envisage her going back to New York. The English countryside is beautiful but there’s not enough going on for her.” And following on from the success of her short movie Filth And Wisdom earlier this year, she allegedly wants to step into Guy’s shoes and make it as a director. It’s war! Christopher adds, “Apparently she wants to direct and that’s what she’ll be doing. Two directors in the family is never going to work.” And of course it didn’t; lucky then that he reckons the pair’s marriage wasn’t ever going to be one of epic proportions anyway. He adds, “I thought it wouldn’t last. Guy was generally a miserable guy and he got worse.” Ooh, bitchy!

Orlando Bloom engaged. Noooo!
We know this is going to sound bitter, but don't you think there's just something a teensy bit sickening about beautiful people getting together? Well, now a new couple are on their way to stealing Brangelina's perfect-couple crown. Orlando Bloom – he who made elves attractive – and model Miranda Kerr – she who models for Victoria Secret – are reported to be engaged. We know, it is a bit upsetting. A friend of the couple has let slip the news, saying, "They are talking about settling down and getting married in a year. They love each other and she wants to be his wife." The rumours followed a sighting of the couple at an LA eaterie, where Miranda was seen showing off a sparkling bracelet Orly had bought her and telling friends that she "only wears stuff from Orlando now". Last month the pair were reported to be on the verge of splitting, but Miranda herself has quashed the rumour, saying, "It doesn't make any difference to us. We know what the truth is." Orlando's agent has refused to comment on the wedding rumours, but neither party has yet actually denied it. We suppose congratulations are in order for the sickeningly hot couple. Sigh. Oh well, at least Steve Jones is single again...