Fired Noorul slams Philip and Ben
Last night's Apprentice loser Noorul may have been quiet as a mouse on the show, but he certainly hasn't held back since his exit. The science teacher, who Sir Alan said had a "mercy firing", has spilled the beans on the antics of his fellow candidates, with one man in particular getting a mention. "Philip is one of life's natural flirts," he recalled. "It wasn't enough for him to crack on to all the girls in the house, he had to go for one of the producers as well." Noorul says Philip didn't get anywhere with said producer, claiming she "saw right through him". Snigger. As well as dishing the dirt on flirty Philip, Noorul also had some harsh words for Ben "I got a scholarship to Sandhurst" Clarke, saying, "He is so arrogant, it's unbelievable. He spends all the time bigging himself up." We won't argue with that.

Madonna facing battle with Mercy's real father
The biological father of Malawian tot Mercy James last night launched a legal bid to regain full custody, after claiming he did not believe Madonna was a good mother. James Kambewa, who has never met Madonna, slammed the star's "poor morals", saying, "Madonna has millions, but that doesn't make her a good mum. She doesn't portray good morals. How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage?" Madonna and her legal team, however, are said to be confident that an appeal hearing this Monday will turn out in their favour. We will bring you any news as soon as we have it.

Simon: "I will take Susan Boyle to the US"
Simon Cowell last night promised he would help Susan Boyle break America, but only if she actually wins Britain's Got Talent. Talking in the US, Simon said, "I would say to anybody who won the British show that we guarantee them a spot on the American show. I think that's a great incentive." He also acknowledged that Susan's success in the US will boost the ratings of America's Got Talent enormously, and is even considering holding extra auditions. Simon said of Susan's remarkable story, "It’s incredible. She was sitting at home a few weeks ago, and no one’s ever heard of her, apart from six people, and now you’ve got 150 million people talking about her in America, and people camped outside her house. It’s just the most wonderful story. That’s why I love making these shows."

Lady GaGa takes times off after "collapse"
Knackered Lady GaGa has been given a month off as record bosses fear a burn out. GaGa, real name Stefani Germanotta dontcha’ know, is said to have nearly collapsed on stage after a particularly krayzee night out in the US. A spokesperson for the notorious party girl says, “Her management have spotted the warning signs and don’t want her going off the rails.” The star herself has previously said, “I’ve been told I’m not allowed a holiday under 2010!”, but it seems a string of US tour dates and wild nights out have taken their toll and, bar Glastonbury in June, the star will now take time off to recuperate. Wow, a whole month without body stockings and leotards – how on earth will we cope? Ahem.