Poor the Brangelina. So terrible is their existence on this depraved, cruel planet that their actor chum Matt Damon's felt the need to speak up for the hard-done-by duo. Why, oh people of planet earth, are you treating them like this? They're practically like "prisoners".
Yes, you might want to double check that last word. Yes, it still reads "prisoners." Not those people incarcerated in jail for the rest of their miserable lives, we're talking about Hollywood actors here, Damo, you might want to lighten up.
The (also famous, also loaded) actor sobbed* to German TV: "I have friends who are like prisoners. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, for instance. They can't just go someplace. If they go for a walk, it turns into an international incident."
We're sure their beds made out of solid gold and the bed clothes knitted out of tiny angels wings are some sort of cold comfort to Brangelina. Thankfully, Matt said he didn't have to endure quite the same level of hardship as his friends: "I'm really lucky, because I have the best of both worlds. I do the work that I love and need, but don't need paramilitary troops to protect me when I walk out my front door."
No, but we're sure Team America are on standby somewhere...
*not really. But he was like, really, really upset.