In perhaps the most bizarre story we’ve heard all week - well, it's still Tuesday - Shakira has been attacked by a sea lion.
She was on a wildlife tour while on holiday in Cape Town, South Africa, and tried to take a photo of the moustachioed mammal when she saw it bobbing about in the sea.
Unfortunately, the sea lion mistook her phone for a fish (easy mistake) and went for it. Luckily, her brother Tony (quite a normal name there, we were hoping for something as poetic, like ‘Tonika’) was on hand to save her, and got in between her and the sea creature before helping them both to safety.
She told her fans about it via Facebook. In the post entitled: “Special Report: Attacked by a Sea Lion” she described her ordeal: “Suddenly, one of them jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me.”
The wordy singer added: “Everyone there screamed, including me. I was paralyzed by fear and couldn't move, I just kept eye contact with it while my brother ‘Super Tony’ jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast.”
Though the sea lion’s representatives have been unavailable for comment, she has a theory for its behaviour: “I believe what happened is that it confused the shiny reflection of the blackberry I was taking these pics with, with some sort of fish. It probably thought I was teasing it.”
It’s probably not the first time she’s teased a hairy, blubbery mammal - have you seen some of the leery blokes who go to see her shake her bottom in concert?
She then posted a photo of her war wounds (one tiny scratch) and tweeted a picture of her looking delightfully gap-yah sitting on a rock next to some penguins. Let’s hope they weren’t so aggro!