Jeff Brazier has spoken out about raising his two sons and how he feels worried about failing them. In a blog for The Huffington Post he wrote about how he is beginning to question himself as a parent as the boys have started to play up at school.
Getting it right…
In the piece, the 33-year-old pours out his heart about the challenges of parenting the young boys alone after the loss of their mum, Jade Goody in 2009.
When speaking about Bobby, he reveals how, although his bad behaviour was always aimed at Jeff and normally stayed within the home, it now appears to be changing as the nine-year-old has started to misbehave at school.
“I admitted that he is a very angry child due to his loss and in the past I have seen it expressed in my direction but never before to anyone else.”
Writing about the issues he’s having with the boys in their schools, the TV presenter went on to express how he constantly questions himself and never seems to be able to find the best path to take.
“I have to look at what's going wrong at home in order to improve their situation in the classroom. Am I too soft, too strict? Do I mention mum enough? There are so many factors to consider in order to strike the right balance.”
During the hardest times however, although he revealed how he is “managing their grief as we go” – he has enlisted the help of experts to help the boys try and cope with their loss.
“Bob needs to start seeing Grief Encounter again, he stopped some time ago because he appeared to be doing well.”
“[But now] I have arranged for the counsellor to come to our home after school next week and we are going to go on a nice walk to see if he wants to volunteer anything and more importantly see if there is the desire there for him to start seeing Julie frequently again.”
The younger of the two, Freddy is also beginning to show signs of discontent in school.
"Freddy has started the year a little hot and cold, he seems to be great for half the day and then he gets tired, loses focus and then the calling out begins and seemingly doesn't stop."
It will get better
In the post, Jeff goes on to explain that the difficulties they face as a family are mainly rooted in the home and that he is often faced with challenges.
“My worst habit by far, I let Bobby get to me too easily. He can say some very cutting remarks and knows only too well how to get a reaction from me. I need to work harder on ignoring this, staying calm as I tell him what the punishment is and why he's getting it and ignoring the verbal abuse that comes off the back of it.”
He ends the blog with the candour and bravery of a man who can and will only ever do his best.
“I welcome advice from all - sometimes it's the kind tweets that give me the boost I need to stay strong and focused. I stop myself from being too negative by reminding myself that love will prevail and as long as they know I'm there for them we will come through this okay.”