They do things a little differently in Italy. Take, for example, these pictures of Robbie Williams appearing on the Italian X Factor with some basically naked women. Just… just lets look at these pictures, for a moment.
Anyway, Robbie was appearing on the Italian X Factor all wrapped around some nonplussed-looking naked women to perform his new single, Candy. Robbie was looking a little huskier than usual on the show. Candy. Husky. Do you see where we are going with this? Robbie Williams has probably been eating a lot of Candy.
But who cares. Because when he's not chunking around on stage in Italy, Robbie has been saying some pretty A+ back-to-his-old-self terrible things about the birth of his first child, Theodora.
"I cut the cord but, bless her, I cut it while she was still inside Ayda." Paints a picture, does it not? Robbie Williams is, basically, a poet.
"Teddy was going blue because the umbilical cord was caught around her neck. I had to be quick with the scissors."
Then Robbie made a comment so gross kids will be studying it for their GCSEs for years to come. This is Robbie's I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud moment, right here:
"It was like the first 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan down there. It was like Ayda v. Predator. She'd say the same thing. It's an image that won't go away." You're right, Robbie, it won't. It really won't. Robbie's back, everyone.