It's October and it's autumn and it's cold, which means everyone is on the hunt for someone warm to slide up against at night – but X Factor judge Tulisa insists she won't hop into bed with just any old man-shaped hot water bottle.
In an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine the 24-year-old insisted that she didn't need a man to help her do Tulisa things – like launching books and perfumes, judging singers based on two-minute auditions and holding up her arm so much it offends OFCOM – and that if she was to have s-e-x with anybody, it'd have to be someone she loves.
"I do believe it will come to the stage where men and women can approach sex however they want without being judged," said Tulisa, presumably while holding up her arm or dying her hair again or something.
"I am personally really reserved when it comes to sex. I want to save it for something special. My wish is that men would start thinking like that as well, rather than women thinking like men. I’m all about equality. I need to find someone who sees me as his equal and respects me the same way as he would his mate." Mate. Bants.
"If we have sex, we’re going to be in a relationship. I have to know that I’ve either fallen in love or I can fall in love with this man before I take that step.
Since splitting from Skins' Jack O'Connell earlier this year, Tulisa revealed she was enjoying being single – but she did miss the odd bit of human contact.
"This is the first time that I’ve been single for so long, and it’s only been two or three months… But I feel like now I’m actually alright without anybody. The only thing I miss is the physical contact, in an affectionate way – and sexually, too.” Three words, Tulisa: get a snuggie.
Tulisa's full interview appears in the November issue of Cosmopolitan, on sale 11th October. You can watch exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of her cover shoot at www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/tulisa.