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Tulisa’s bail is re-set until December as drugs probe continues

Tulisa’s bail is re-set until December as drugs probe continues

Tulisa has a bit more time to ‘not be on The X Factor anymore’ and ‘write her debut novel, which is going to be horrendous’ and ‘repeatedly avoid phonecalls from Dappy asking if she wants to get the old band back together, the old gang back together’ as authorities re-set her bail conditions to continue into December.

Both Tulisa and musician Mike GLC had their bail re-set this week as the investigation continues into their summer drugs bust. The pair were arrested back in June after an undercover Sun on Sunday investigation basically got Tulisa to sort of kind of admit that she could ‘score’ you some ‘gear’, if you really wanted it.

“Half my phone book sells it,” she allegedly told a Sun reporter. “Of course I can get it for you.”

As a result, the star was arrested on suspicion of supply of Class A drugs – and yesterday (October 30) Mike and Tulisa were scheduled to visit a police station to answer police bail. They will now return in early December as the investigation continues.

Tulisa has – probably wisely – been keeping a low profile since September, announcing plans to quit Twitter because all her @replies feed was people making the same ‘Share a Coke with Tulisa’ joke over and over into the infinite. She’s been doing loads of Instagrams, though, which basically sees her enjoying an unending holiday in Dubai.

Gallery

This is what Tulisa looks like in her old job, for reference
This is what Tulisa looks like in her old job, for reference
This is what Tulisa looks like in her old job, for reference
 
This is what Tulisa looks like in her old job, for reference

Keep clicking to see her ‘do other stuff’

Be the next Supernanny
Be the next Supernanny
Be the next Supernanny
 
Be the next Supernanny

With all that experience keeping Dappy in check (Tulisa spent more than enough time on tour with him as part of N-Dubz, so has plenty of experience changing his nappies and keeping him away from the sweets cupboard and pushing him on swings), Tulisa is more than qualified to go on Channel 4 and sternly point fingers in the faces of inept parents and say things like “no” and “naughty” a lot.

Be a Female Boss, somewhere
Be a Female Boss, somewhere
Be a Female Boss, somewhere
 
Be a Female Boss, somewhere

Tulisa has the words ‘The Female Boss’ tattooed on her left arm which, unless we are very much mistaken, makes her more than qualified for a soft position in middle management. Imagine her standing in heels and tutting at a photocopier. Imagine her sitting a warehouse worker of 20 years down and telling him that he did not give 110% often enough. Imagine her sending an all-office e-mail promoting her new CD. Tulisa is made for this.

Be one of those perfume saleswomen who smell faintly of disappointment
Be one of those perfume saleswomen who smell faintly of disappointment
Be one of those perfume saleswomen who smell faintly of disappointment
 
Be one of those perfume saleswomen who smell faintly of disappointment

Tulisa already has one perfume, with another on the way (she recently asked Twitter what she should call it, with some… well, with some mixed responses). Anyway we imagine now that sweet, sweet X Factor gig is over, she can always make a little extra scratch by lugging a couple of boxes of TFB down to Oxford St., pitching up with a wireless mic on, and asking tourists to smell her wrist.

Be a market trader
Be a market trader
Be a market trader
 
Be a market trader

She is very loud. Tulisa is very loud. She could probably sell apples to passersby by shouting at them hard enough.

Be a Youth Services Lawyer
Be a Youth Services Lawyer
Be a Youth Services Lawyer
 
Be a Youth Services Lawyer

“Forgive them for what they have done,” Tulisa will say, every single time she defends some kid in a hoodie from a shoplifting wrap. “’Cause they are young / ‘cause they are young.”

Be on Strictly Come Dancing
Be on Strictly Come Dancing
Be on Strictly Come Dancing
 
Be on Strictly Come Dancing

Tulisa’s dancing experience from N-Dubz seemed to centre on pointing to her crotch and then pointing to the crowd and then looking angry and then doing the symbol of a gun with her fingers, which might be a bit too much for Bruce-y, but would be a major coup for the Beeb after the Alesha-Dixon-to-ITV-debacle.

Be in a gang
Be in a gang
Be in a gang
 
Be in a gang

BRAP BRAP YOU COME ‘ROUND MY ENDS INNIT

 
 

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