Dark Shadows

 

STARRING: Johnny Depp, Eva Green, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter
DIRECTOR: Tim Burton (CERT 12A, 113 minutes)

The plot: Tim Burton casts Johnny Depp yet again, this time as Barnabas Collins, head of a rich fishing family in 18th-century coastal Maine. Of all the dumb luck, the pretty servant girl Angelique (Eva Green), whose amorous advances he rebuffs, turns out to be a witch and he’s cursed as a vampire and buried for an eternity of lonely misery. Cut to 1972, and a construction crew unearths Barnabas, who returns to his now-shabby family home, occupied by descendants Elizabeth (Pfeiffer), her brother Roger (Jonny Lee Miller) and a child apiece.

What’s right with it? No one does eyebrow-raised scepticism quite like Depp, no one looks quite as good in vampiric white make-up, and no one can deliver a line like “Pulsating blood urn!” (his verdict on a lava lamp) with such aplomb. To say he’s been perfectly cast is to miss the point: Burton made this film because Depp exists. Style over content triumphs again for Burton, as the ’70s setting provides an alibi for a riot of design excess.

What’s wrong with it? The fish-out-of-water premise (old-school vampire in the giddy, spacey ‘70s) is a corker, but the story, not so much. Barnabas finds himself still battling Angelique (whose powerful corporation has ground the Collins clan into the dirt), and there are subplots involving an unethical psychoanalyst (Bonham Carter) and a sweet governess (Bella Heathcote), but there’s not much at stake.

Verdict: Next to the big action blockbusters of summer, Dark Shadows offers something fun, fresh and deeply weird. HHHH @charlesgant
 

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

 

STARRING: Mel Gibson, Peter Stormare, Kevin Hernandez
DIRECTOR: Adrian Grunberg (CERT 15, 95 minutes)

The plot: When an unnamed criminal (Gibson) crashes his getaway car on the wrong side of the Mexican border, he’s imprisoned in one of the country’s roughest jails: a lawless town run by the inmates.

What’s right with it? With a darkly humorous tone, this proves a happy reminder of what once made Gibson such a bankable action-movie star.

What’s wrong with it? The lurches from “dark” to “humorous” are sometimes jarring, and maybe Gibson just has too much uncomfortable baggage for audiences these days – probably the reason this didn’t get a cinema release in the US.

Verdict: If you haven’t been put off Mel entirely, this does turn out to be reasonably entertaining. HHH DAN JOLIN

Jeff, Who Lives At Home

 

STARRING: Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Susan Sarandon
DIRECTORS: Jay and Mark Duplass (CERT 15, 83 minutes)

The plot: Jeff (Segel) is a 30-year-old slacker whose mum (Sarandon) forces him out of her basement on an errand. But his day doesn’t go to plan when he runs into his overachieving jerk of a brother (Helms).

What’s right with it? The filmmakers deftly balance goofy jokes with likeable characters and startlingly honest dramatic moments. Segel’s oafish charm has never been this endearing, while his scene-stealing co-stars keep us laughing.

What’s wrong with it? It’s one of those quirky, contrived movies that doesn’t have much of a point, aside from asking if life has much of a point.

Verdict: Not hugely memorable, but this enjoyably silly comedy does have moments that are sharp and hilarious. HHH @shadowsrich