Robbie Williams is too old for Radio 1 now, apparently, which sort of changes everything we thought we knew about reality, and the finite nature of our brief and fleeting lives, and also about Radio 1. He is only 38.
BBC Head of Music and playlist controller George Ergatoudis had decided Robbie's latest single, Candy, is not worth a place on the hallowed channel, seeing as it doesn't appeal to the core Radio 1 listener in the way that Gangnam Style or Fearne Cotton does.
So that means Robbie is officially not down with the kids. We will be sending him a pipe, slippers and comfortable cardigan via courier to mark the occasion.
"Radio 1 see it not as a question of age, but of relevance," said a BBC spokesperson, age undisclosed. "They think there are acts more appropriate to their target audience of 15 to 29."
Here are some acts that are more appropriate to the target audience of 15 to 29-year-olds, as per their playlist this week: Muse. Coldplay. Madonna. And also Misha B off of last year's X Factor.
But hey kids, yo, what up, real talk. Robbie's still got it. As The Sun revealed yesterday, the star has teamed up with fellow too-old-for-Radio-1 person Chris Moyles to record a track for Moyles' latest comedy album called I.L.M.P. (I Love My Penis). It's about how much they both love their penises.
"I love bobbing up and down in the Caribbean sea," sings Robbie. So far so good. "I love watching the telly with a mug of tea. I watch anything presented by Holly Willoughby… I bet she’d love my penis." Well, yes, okay. Good luck getting that played on Radio 1, anyway.