The midweek serving of The Only Way Is Essex, as usual, did not disappoint.
Gemma needs some lovin’
Gemma’s having a bit of a dilemma after her Titanic-esque date with Charlie on Sunday. She meets up with Billie and Sam Faiers to discuss her less than thriving sex life.
“I said to him after he painted me what do I do now? Do I sleep over or what?
“The next morning I woke up early to go to work and he was lying there with his thing sticking into my back,” she tells Sam and Billie.
“I can confirm he can get a boner. But I didn't know whether to scream or what.”
Sexually frustrated Gemma then comes up with an ultimatum for her new man.
“If we don't consume this relationship then I'll have to consume this with someone else.”
Meanwhile, Charlie confides in his new macho mates, Mario Falcone, Ricky Rayment and Little Chris, saying: “I don't know, it’s just not happening at the moment so I wanted to do something that is gonna make it more natural,” he says, referring to drawing Gemma in the almost buff.
“I actually think that we don't have to put the pressure on it and you know what's the right hand for?”
Too much info, maybe?
Oh yeah, and Mario admits to never struggling to pull women.
Gemma and Charlie eventually speak to each other about their non-eventful sex life.
“You know what everyone in Essex is like, they put it about,” Gemma tells Charlie.
But Charlie’s quick to defend himself.
“I'm not like everyone else, I'm going to stick to my roots with that, let’s just have some fun, you need to be patient with me.”
Gemma, not satisfied with his answer is quick to say: “I’ll be patient with you but its random behaviour, it's bizarre to me, a man wants to touch you, feel you, slap your arse. I've not had sex for a whole year.”
She added: “Sex makes you a couple. I've not seen it yet, you might have something wrong with it.
“I woke up and you had a boner poking me in the back but you need to poke it in my front.”
Thanks for the sex education lesson, Gem.
Mick Norcross takes Cara Kilbey on the date he bought at Sunday’s charity auction. The couple shun a normal date of drinks and dinner and take a trip on some Segways instead.
But will this be the start of something exciting?
Meanwhile, newbie Little Chris admits he’s got his eye on Frankie Essex, but after Mario passes on his wealth of women-pulling wisdom, Little Chris gets brave and approaches her at Joey Essex’s Reem party, inviting her on a date – either strawberry picking or feeding the ducks.
She politely declines.
Ricky admits to Lydia Bright that, even though he’s currently seeing Jess Wright, he’s been receiving some saucy texts from another girl – but who this mysterious texter?
Looking reem, smelling reem, being reem
Reem parties are back.
Joey puts on a crackin’ Reem party at the Sugar Hut and the Essex posse get bronzed and preened for the big event.
Charlie sets the dancefloor on fire with some of his, erm, unique dance moves, but Gemma doesn’t look impressed.
Joey finds an excuse to talk to old flame Sam, and it turns out the couple shared a sneaky snog recently. Sam admits she still fancies Joey, but she’s worried about Joey’s sis Frankie being too protective over him and accusing Sam of only snogging Joey because he’s got a swimming pool.
So does she really like Joey or does she just want to go for a dip?
They have a little smooch and Joey invites Sam round to his place after the party.
But we’ll have to wait until Sunday to find out if she took him up on the offer of a private pool party.