And so it turns out that Kourtney Kardashian is scary and we absolutely would not mess with her. Because while having a baby earlier this year – in eerie silence, and with all the rest of the Kardashians and some TV crews watching – she ever-so-calmly pulled said baby out of her body. Again: she pulled a baby out of her body. With her hands.
That is a kind of blunt way of saying she 'caught' the baby during the final stages of the birth, which is the technical name for doing what she did do. You know when Mo Farah hit that final straight over the 10,000 metres and was just motoring along there and we were all screaming? Like that, but with a baby.
Normally the 'catching' part of the whole process – the ducking under the ribbon, so to speak – is left to a midwife or birth partner, but not for Kourtney. Nuh-uh. She just plucked baby Penelope on out of there. She is like the Beyoncé of giving birth, if Beyoncé hadn't given birth this year already.
Is this an unusual move? According to people who know about that sort of thing: yes, totally. It really, really is. But it's also a pretty cool one – it establishes the mother-baby bond really early on with one of the most primal senses, touch, and also it supposedly feels good. "It feels good," said Kourtney, immediately afterwards. So there you go. You seriously would not mess with her.
A few viewers have expressed discomfort or general gross outedness in reaction to the previewed video – the birth will be shown in full in the season finale of Keeping Up With... – which has kicked up no little controversy in the US, but it has kind of made Kourtney a hero in our eyes. She was already a bit of a hero for living with Scott Disick and his mirror-finished sports cars without rolling her eyes so hard her balance was permanently affected, but now this has gone and cemented it. Good work and congrats on the baby, Kourtney.