Someone needs to invent a new alphabet, as this, um, hot new couple are beyond Z-list. Do you remember Billi Bhatti, the really annoying Big Brother contestant and male model from a couple of years back, who was so repulsive that even Chanelle denied having a fling with him? And do you remember Natalie Rooney, Wayne Rooney’s boob-flashing, wayward, aspiring glamour-model cousin? Well, they’re officially in love. We know! Ewwww! The couple have gone public ie. they’re gushing about their relationship all over Facebook – and Billi must be pretty chuffed to have pulled a Rooney, as he’s a massive Manchester United fan. We wish them every happiness and we’ll give them *rifles in coat pockets* 23p, a small grey button and some chewing gum wrapped in a Boots receipt for exclusive coverage of their wedding. Oh god, is that legally binding now?
Z-list couple alert!