Yes! It’s back! *dances around* With an average age higher than One Directions’ grandparents (almost), we were a tad worried whether this year’s series would meet our high expectations. Within about a zillionth of a second (roughly translated as the time it took us to see Dougie Poynter in his outback outfit), we were back in jungle heaven, though.
We always forget about the totally brill first challenge. No, not the helicopter jump, the ‘don’t you know who I am?’ hotel introductions. What with Mark Wright awkwardly describing TOWIE as a ‘reality drama’, Jessica-Jane Clement talking about what she's had in her mouth and lovely Anthony Cotton asking LA-based actress Stephanie Powers if she watches Corrie, competition for the most cringe intro was tough.
Willie Carson for the win!
We've decided the winner has to be Willie Carson. We weren’t expecting big things from you tiny jockey man, but then you mimed a little horse-riding jig thing with an insane grin Kitty Brucknell would’ve been proud of. Bless. It was almost as tragic as the contestants listing their deepest darkest fears. Oh celebs, when will you learn to NOT tell the viewing public what things you’re scared of? You know we’re a little bit mean. Well, actually we’re very mean.
Which is why we totally DID NOT enjoy watching Mark jump out of the helicopter. We didn’t enjoy watching him whimper like an animal on an RSPCA advert and repeatedly murmur ‘no, no, no’. Nor did we enjoy him looking like he might cry or screaming like a little girl when he jumped out. Alright, we enjoyed it quite a lot. Especially that very ‘complimentary’ harness. Crotch Watch, anyone?
heatworld campaigns for more Dougie!
One thing we aren’t enjoying so far, is the criminal lack of Dougie airtime. Hello! Have you seen his face producers? His dishevelled, tired, beautiful face? We demand more Dougie now! We’re reasonable people though and are willing to make the huge and selfless sacrifice of less Fatima Whitbread. We know, we are generous, particularly when she is slipping into the alpha male – sorry, female – role, so well.
Freddie Starr, unfortunately, isn’t settling in to the ‘hilarious practical joker’ role quite so well. Unless the whole single-handedly failing the first Bushtucker Trial was one big gag? In which case it was actually pretty funny. Oh, how we are looking forward to his head-to-head with Mark in the ‘Greasy Spoon’ eating challenge tonight. Kangaroo bits, bugs and grown men screaming… it’s good to have you back Celeb. Awkward Fatima high-fives all round!
Who is your fave so far? Who do you think will win tomorrow’s trial? Will Mark try and get it on with Jessica? Who do you think is running the two camps at the moment? When will we get to see Dougie take a shower? Let us know…