After endless shower-shots of Jessica-Jane Clement and Emily Scott in their bikinis, we finally got a Mark Wright and Dougie Poynter man-fest last night. Hurrah! In fact, we would like to take this opportunity to thank the cockroaches of Australia. When that rebel roach crawled its way up Fatima’s nose on Sunday, we couldn’t help but consider the deeply philosophical question it raised – if we were a cockroach, where would we crawl?
One clever critter (which heat is officially adopting) must have reached the same conclusion as us and decided to crawl down Mark’s shorts during his Bushtucker Trial. Nice work little bug! We’re pretty sure there’s a moral somewhere in the work of that one tiny insect resulting in Mark getting 100% bum-baringly naked. Now let’s say a little prayer to the insect gods that they target Dougie’s pants next.
For now, we’ll settle for Dougie in the stocks. We felt more pervy than Pat Sharp, watching him get locked in (it’s difficult not to feel a tad lechy when your mouth is hanging open, as you try not to drool). We think we might have actually fainted for a minute when he said he was “used to them” because he’s “got a couple of those at home, but they’re a bit kinkier.” Thankfully, we came round in time to see him get all wet. Sigh.
Antony the drama queen!
We’ve liked Antony Cotton. He may be more miserable than we were when we found out One Direction tickets had sold out (which trust us, was VERY miserable), but he’s been an entertaining camper. Last night, he crossed a line, though – trying to put an end to Dougie’s incarceration in the stocks, saying, “It’s a step too far… It’s barbaric.” What?! How could he not see the joy it was bringing to the nation?
Not only did he try and ruin the best thing EVER to happen in camp, he even put his challenge with Dougie at risk, saying “I just didn’t want to be faced with something I didn’t think we could achieve. I feel a lot of pressure.” It’s STEALING TOWELS! We’re not sure we can forgive him for making Dougie do that adorable sad face, as he said, "Antony didn’t want to play.” We’ll play with you any day Dougie! (Snigger)
Jessica-Jane leaves the jungle!
We were hoping Jess would spill the beans on Mark and Emily’s romance in her exit interview last night, but she was disappointingly cagey. When Ant and Dec asked if there was any chemistry, Jess simply answered, “I think Emily likes Mark’s chest quite a lot.” Gah! That’s not an answer! BUT Mark did reveal later on ITV2 that he doesn’t want to see TOWIE’s Lauren Goodger any more, saying to Dougie “I think it’s got me over my ex for good.” Oooh!
What did you think of Antony’s tantrums? Funny or annoying? Do you think Mark and Emily will squeeze a cheeky snog in before the week’s out? Is he really over Lauren? Let us know!