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The British Soap Awards 2012: The worst dressed night of the year?

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We really hope there was a ban on naked flames on London’s Southbank on Saturday night as the lethal combo of man made fabrics and ozone desecrating levels of hairspray hit the capital in the annual celebration of dogs dinner dresses- The British Soap Awards. If it wasn’t plunged to the navel (Brooke Vincent) it was skintight lycra (umm also Brooke Vincent) slit to the groin or in an eye wateringly awful colour.
The biggest fashion crimes of the night were committed against innocent boobs with Preeya Kalidas, Shobna Gulati and Chelsea Halfpenny all squeezing the life out of their poor bosoms. Holly Jay Bowes committed a further atrocity against hers by disguising them as stocking clad bank robbers.
If it wasn’t boobs on show it was thighs (and in some cases crotches) with Alice Barlow looking like a Lidl version of Angelina Jolie with her sticking out leg and Jessie Wallace flashing pins the colour of a chorizo sausage.
There were a few exceptions to the come as a tornado in a market rule….Katherine Kelly’s full length Burberry frock was super chic, Samia Smith played it safe but looked gorgeous in a long black gown, Jennie McAlpine turned heads showing off her hot new bod in Vivienne Westwood and Jacqueline Jossa wouldn’t have looked out of place at an A-list premiere. Good work girls- now have a word with your fellow cast members for next year please….
 

Preeya Kalidas
Preeya Kalidas
Preeya Kalidas
 
Preeya Kalidas

We might not be brilliant at maths but we know DD never goes into A...Time for a bigger dress , before we call the RSPB (Royal Society for the Protection of boobies)

Jessie Wallace
Jessie Wallace
Jessie Wallace
 
Jessie Wallace

Did someone try to bbq poor Jessie's limbs before she came out?

Charlie Clemmow
Charlie Clemmow
Charlie Clemmow
 
Charlie Clemmow

The dress is so so, the Mr Whippy ice cream on her head, not so.

Mel C
Mel C
Mel C
 
Mel C

Wow we knew the career wasn't going that swimmingly but how sad poor Mel C now has to waitress at awards ceremonies

Chelsea Halfpenny
Chelsea Halfpenny
Chelsea Halfpenny
 
Chelsea Halfpenny

Now when you had to do this to protect your modesty in your bedroom did you not think about maybe changing the frock?

Alice Barlow
Alice Barlow
Alice Barlow
 
Alice Barlow

Complicated leg fracture? Poor thing.

Gemma Merna
Gemma Merna
Gemma Merna
 
Gemma Merna

It's a bit Barbie bridesmaid but in the kingdom of the bad dressed the mid way atrocious is King.

Holly Jay Bowes
Holly Jay Bowes
Holly Jay Bowes
 
Holly Jay Bowes

At least the dress distracts us from the hair....

Shobna Gulati
Shobna Gulati
Shobna Gulati
 
Shobna Gulati

Smoking hot bod-yes. But boobies this big need better support

Jennifer Metcalfe
Jennifer Metcalfe
Jennifer Metcalfe
 
Jennifer Metcalfe

Pretty girl in Herve Leger. Yawn.

Jessica Fox
Jessica Fox
Jessica Fox
 
Jessica Fox

Couldn't decide which frock to wear so just wore them both?

Shona McGarty
Shona McGarty
Shona McGarty
 
Shona McGarty

Cleverly fashioned hers from an old wetsuit

Katherine Kelly
Katherine Kelly
Katherine Kelly
 
Katherine Kelly

The chicest look of the night. This grey dress was beautiful against her pale skin.

Michelle Keegan
Michelle Keegan
Michelle Keegan
 
Michelle Keegan

Nice frock but we would have liked a little more grooming in the hair department

Emma Bunton
Emma Bunton
Emma Bunton
 
Emma Bunton

A mumsy LBD doesn' t do Baby many favours

Samia Smith
Samia Smith
Samia Smith
 
Samia Smith

Simple and elegant- amazing!

Jacqueline Jossa
Jacqueline Jossa
Jacqueline Jossa
 
Jacqueline Jossa

'Enders Lauren did the Square proud in this uber glam number

Jennie McAlpine
Jennie McAlpine
Jennie McAlpine
 
Jennie McAlpine

Wowsers! How hot does Fizz look?!

 
 

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