Answers on a postcard: who strolls around in an absolutely pointless and completely revealing strappy bikini top like it's a casual lunchtime trip to Starbucks? Ah, Paris Hilton, of course. Paris showed off a very tanned and toned hot bod earlier today in Miami as she and her Spanish model boyfriend River Vilperi went on a lunch date. Perfect lunch date attire, obvs. We're trying our hardest not to, but we can't help but imagine the tan lines. And what if you accidentally sunburnt a nipple? Ouch! How do you even put that thing on? It would take us years. Anyone seen that episode of New Girl where Zooey Deschanel tries to put on that weird S&M bra to seduce her on-screen boyfriend Justin Long? Well, it reminds us of that. Just with slightly less modesty. Anyway, we'll stop marvelling and trying to think of an explanation. There just isn't one.