The X Factor judges are like a 'dysfunctional family', according to probably the most normal X Factor judge this year, Nicole Scherzinger. And Nicole Scherzinger wore a dress made of tweets earlier this week, so. So, you know. We really are pushing the very upper limits of what is classed as normal, here.
According to Nicole – who, actually, and we're remembering now, got vajazzled by Amy Childs earlier this week, too – her, Gary Barlow, Louis Walsh and Tulisa all get on behind the scenes, they just ham it up and say "fag ash breath" for the cameras.
"We're a happy dysfunctional family on the show," said Nicole, speaking at the Cosmopolitan Woman of the Year awards earlier this week.
Previous series have been marked by behind-the-scenes bickering between the judges, and Tulisa has made no bones about the fact that her and Kelly Rowland were not exactly pals last year.
But her and Nicole are, apparently, which is good because we really wouldn't want to see the outcome of a ruckus between the two.
"I was in a girl group," Nicole said, presumably after checking her Wikipedia page to make sure. "I’ve always been about female empowerment. It wouldn’t be right if I wasn’t supportive. And we all have insecurities as girls, so it’s up to us to be loving and open to each other."
We quite like the idea of The X Factor judges as one big dysfunctional family. Imagine it. Louis Walsh, snoozing and bewildered after a Sunday roast. Gary Barlow as the Dad, furiously turning off the lights in empty rooms and watching the Grand Prix in emotionless silence. Nicole singing along to Pussycat Dolls CDs in her bedroom. Tulisa out until all hours setting off fireworks and getting totalled on cider out by a canal. Actually, forget next year's X Factor. Can we just stick all the judges in the Big Brother house?
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