Is Simon Cowell plotting an X Factor return for Cheryl Cole? Probably every minute of every day, actually, yes.
But according to reports, the X Factor overlord – who we are not legally allowed to describe as evil, but is probably a bit evil – has been making an especially feverish effort to make it happen this month.
Basically he has been sat alone in his castle high up on a mountain out of town while a thunderstorm rages, wearing a cape and looking at old tomes. And finally, he's stopped cackling maniacally for long enough to figure out the winning formula to get Cheryl back: will.i.am.
Cowell reckons that if he prises will.i.am from The Voice in a £2 million coup, Cheryl will be in a helicopter and back on the judging panel for an unprecedented hat-trick faster than will.i.am can say "hey yo" or "B-E-P" or "I respect the Queen".
Some of that was embellished for dramatic effect.
A senior production insider told the Mirror: "We need to do something dramatic, and this would be a coup.
"It would give us the best judging line-up in X Factor history."
And it's all to reverse an equally dramatic ratings slump. It's thought up to three million viewers from last year have just upped and vanished into thin air, and Mighty and Unflappable Overlord Cowell wants to claw some of them back with a shake up of the judging panel.
It's even thought he will pull on the ol' grey t-shirt and high jeans for another run at the UK version of the contest.